Love, Me Blog

Miracle is one of those words, like awesome and amazing, that is used so often that its meaning gets diluted over time. So, just to refresh your memory here is the definition of the word “miracle”.

- An effect or extraordinary event in the physical world that surpasses all known human or natural powers and is ascribed to a supernatural cause.

- Such an effect or event manifesting or considered as a work of God.

Every birth is a miracle. Each one so unique in the process, yet the outcome is mostly the same.  This time for me, documenting the amazing birth of Logan, I was struck with the realization that not all births end the same, and the word and meaning of miracle kept coming to mind.  Life was quickly put into perspective for me as I watched the miracle that took place on March 3rd.

Kalie labored all day and into the night until Logan made his grand entrance. She pushed for hours as her epidural wore off and fought, with the intense support and compassion of Matthew,  to push Logan out naturally.  I’ve witnessed several births now, and I must say that under any other circumstance, Logan’s delivery would have been very different. The combination of a super supportive husband, a rock star nurse with 40 years experience, and sheer will power created a moment I will never forget. And I truly believe it was that energy that gave little Logan the power he needed to fight for his first breath.

You will see in the video what seems to be a hole in the story.  It’s against hospital policy for me to document what takes place when things don’t go according to plan.  I guess its for liability purposes and to protect the doctor and staff.  I truly wish I could have documented those few minutes, which felt like a lifetime, because they truly are a testament to people working together, under extreme pressure, to give a family the miracle they had hoped for.  Logan’s arrival was very different than every other birth I’ve documented.  After hours of pushing, he came out limp and blue and not breathing.  This left me completely terrified. I had hoped that Kalie and Matthew were unaware that there was a problem because it was their first child, but as any parent can attest, you just know when something isn’t right.  Matthew was the first to say “Why isn’t he crying?”, which was quickly answered by “Don’t worry, he will”. As I stood in the corner, fervently praying for a miracle, I witnessed what appeared to be a lifeless blue baby laying limp, while focused nurses and doctors jostled him back and forth, pounding on his back, with the background echo of a young new father coaching his baby boy to “Come on”.

“Come on Logan, Come on”, “Come on Logan”, “Come on Buddy, you can do it”  ” Come on Logan”. Over and over he yelled, crouched down on Logan’s level, with a voice filled with  intense hope that all would be okay.

Then, suddenly, a half cry, a breathe.  Then a full cry.  Then screams.  The sound of a baby screaming will forever have new meaning for me. It will forever remind me of the miracle I witnessed on March 3rd, 2010. The awesome and amazing birth of Logan Bean.  I’m honored to share it with you.

Thank you Kalie and Matthew for allowing me to be a part of your miracle! It was such a pleasure meeting your family and witnessing little Logan’s grand entrance. I see big big plans in his future. You can’t enter the world that way and not have incredible purpose.

One of my biggest unexpected blessings of 2009 was most definitely the growth of my birth photography.  Words simply cannot explain how much my heart has been opened just by witnessing tiny miracles grand entrances to the world.  I truly feel so honored to have been chosen by so many families to be apart of such a personal experience and its not something I take lightly. In fact, I will take each and every experience with me and truly treasure it for my life time. To say ” I was present at your birth” isn’t something many people get to say more than a few times with their own children. So, for all of you who entrusted me with such a special time, thank you. Thank you from ever fiber in my being.

I love how each and every birth is so completely unique. Little Aurora’s grand entrance was so extremely special because her stoic momma had her naturally (that means no drugs people!) I must say that I, personally am a huge fan of no pain, hence my decision to have an epidural with Mia Grace, but I must say, if I thought for a even a split second that I could handle childbirth the way Lauren did so beautifully, I would sign up for natural childbirth in a minute. (hence, why I will be ordering up the epidural on my way to the hospital for round two!)  I truly was in awe of the whole process and I still cannot wrap my mind around how I didn’t hear a peep from her until it was time to push! Even the nurse looked amazed and couldn’t believe how “controlled” she was. Wow is all I can really say!

Dad, Royce, was equally as strong. I heard a rumor that he doesn’t do well with hospitals and that sort of thing, but I thought he was the perfect combination of support for Lauren during the whole process.  This was also the first birth I’ve photographed where there was a sibling involved, which I LOVED.  It truly was a joy for me to watch Braeden experience the whole thing. He did a pretty good job of not acting too awfully excited, as every seven year old boy should, but his whole demeanor changed when he saw her for the first time.  And, for someone who wasn’t too impressed with the whole thing, he certainly didn’t budge from his front row view at the nursery window while those nurses cleaned and pricked and prodded at his new baby sister.  It was quite a site to see!

Lauren and Royce’s family were just delightful as well. I often wonder how the family feels with me being there … this stranger with a huge camera! I hope all the families of the births I’ve photographed know what an important role they play during the whole process. Thank you all for your kindness and welcoming hearts to me. It can’t be easy meeting someone for the first time and trusting them with such an important day. What an honor it was to meet and chat with you all!

I received permission this morning to share from Lauren (so thank her!) as you take a peek into the amazing birth of sweet Aurora Grace. Isn’t she just beautiful?!!

Aubrie is a super special little girl to me and her two week birthday is today!  Her mommy, Amber, was one of my childhood best friends.  Though life always tries to pull you away from those people from your early years, Amber and I always continue to cross paths one way or another. The memories we have together are truly countless, starting all the way back to Ms. Hardin’s kindergarten class where we met for the first time.  There are very few memories I have from my school days, starting at 5 all the way through high school that don’t include Amber in one way or another. Some are great, most are hysterical, and many, let’s just say, are forgettable … I think we would both agree that we know things about each other that are less than our best moments in life . And, well, I’ll just leave it at that!

Walking into the delivery room a few weeks ago, I must admit, I was a little nervous. Its an overwhelming feeling to see someone whom you haven’t walked beside in the past few years laying there in a bed about to go through what you know is going to be a life changing experience.  I got to meet Aaron, her awesome husband for the first time in person, and reconnect with her family on such a  monumental occasion.  While I knew I was just there to document this amazing day for her and her family, who has meant so much to me in my life, I couldn’t help but be caught up in every single tiny detail as if it were my best friend in the world whom I had never lost touch with about to have a baby!  And, honestly, that is how it felt and what being there meant to me personally.

What I realized is that there is something so raw, so authentic about knowing a person for so many years that you simply cannot replace with brand new relationships, no matter how hard you try.  Sometimes it feels uncomfortable for someone to know so very much about you … where you’ve come from, where you’ve been, but there is also something so comforting knowing that this person, despite your many flaws, sees that you are just more of the person that you were always intended to be.  There she was, my best friend in kindergarten and again in 7th grade (every other day at least), and again the summer before our Sophomore year, Amber “Boswell” Johanning, just as vibrant and beautiful and full of life as ever!  All I know is that Miss Aubrie is one blessed little girl to have the one person I always wanted to sit by in the lunch room as her mommy

I cannot express what getting to be there that night meant to me. Thank you so much for your friendship all these years … no matter what life throws our way you will always have a huge fan in me!

Miss Aubrie wasn’t really ready to come out and play, so she was taken via Cesarian … here is her beautiful birth story Is she not the most beautiful newborn ever?!

I am so excited to share with you my second experience photographing a miracle.  I am SO thankful Jenny emailed me to document little Jake’s grand entrance into the world.  It’s quite astonishing for strangers to trust me with such a precious moment and I am more than honored.  I still really can’t find the words to truly express what it means to me personally to be a part of the whole miraculous experience. To witness a birth is truly something spectacular!  Jenny and Scott and their “fan club” (seriously there was quite a following on facebook AND in person in the waiting room!) were such a pleasure to work with. How I end up meeting and collaborating with amazing people is beyond me, but it is such a huge reason why I am in love with what I get to do.  It truly is humbling to me and I dont take an ounce of it for granted.

Thank you, Scott and especially Jenny for giving me permission to share your incredibly private and miraculous experience with the world. My prayer is that people will truly be blessed by it and that the love you guys have for each other and little Jake will reveal the much deeper love at work in the midst of it all …

Nothing I could say could quite compare to the email I received this morning. So, I’ll let Callie speak for me.

“I have already lost count of how many times I have watched the slide show and looked through the digital files. I want to say thank you, but I that seems so small compared to how truly grateful I am to have these images. The past four weeks have been so enormously emotional and uniquely sentimental for me. Everyday I am amazed by my capacity to love both my amazing husband and our sweet baby boy. In that first moment when I saw him I was completely overwhelmed by the fact that he was mine and that he was created out of this amazing love I have for Matt. Although I am sure I will never forget that incredible rush of emotion, I now have this beautiful and emotionally raw slide show to accompany it. For that we will be forever grateful. My hope is that others will see the beauty I feel when I look at these images and that they will want you to capture those fleeting moments for their family. You have an unbelievable gift and I feel blessed that our family has been a small part of your journey.”

You have the green light to use any of the images. I know a few have a lot of behind and leg action, but it is what it is…
Your super fans,
Callie, Matt and Ghirin

I’ll be posting a few of my favorites later, but for now, I want to share one of the greatest experiences of my life with you as a whole. Enjoy!

(make sure your volume is turned up to fully experience it!)