Book for young men dating

This article about dating books was last updated in 2022.

Are you still trying to get your head around online dating?

As a single mum hitting the dating scene after, shall we say, a break, you may be tempted to head to the nearest nunnery and lock the door.

From creating a profile to decoding others, and from swiping to sexting, through to dates with total strangers who quite frankly could be ANYONE, the scene is exhaustingly different this time around.

Luckily, alongside the craziness that online dating brings, there comes some fabulous books to help you. Here is our list of dating books to help you date like a pro, and give you some good laughs along the way.

8 DATING BOOKS TO HELP YOU DATE LIKE A PRO

1. HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU

He’s Just Not That Into You is the unputdownable international bestseller that cracks puzzling male dating behavior. Didn’t call you back after asking for your number? Doesn’t respond to your texts? Ignores you on social media? These are just some of the questions answered in this hilarious and honest book that was based on an episode of Sex and the City. Author, Greg Behrendt, was also a consultant for the series, so you can expect Carrie-type introspection and dating truths.

Behrendt and co-author Liz Tuccillo’s message is simple: Men are not complicated and there are no mixed messages, sometimes, you’re just wasting your time because he’s really not that into you. If you’re having a hard time figuring out if the guy you’re dating is just stringing you along or in it for the real deal, pick up this book to find out the answers. It will stop you chasing the wrong men; help you move on faster if he’s just playing games; and free up energy to find the one who is really into you.

Recommended for: People who want to understand the inner workings of the male mind so they can avoid the players. Particularly recommended for women who have been ghosted or are susceptible to charming time-wasters.

2. NEVER CHASE MEN AGAIN

Second on our list is another book that helps women lose the players and focus their energy on someone who truly cares and appreciates them. Never Chase Men Again by Bruce Bryans is all about getting the guy you want whilst avoiding dead-end relationships.

The book teaches you how to be confident, not only when dealing with men, but also understanding how to apply that confidence to different dating situations. The author argues that boundary-setting women prioritise principles and personal values above all else, including being with a guy. Women with strong principles refuse to settle for time-wasters and dating situations that cause them unhappiness, regardless of a man’s status, appearance and other characteristics.

Never Chase Men Again also gives helpful tips on how to keep a man interested; how to get a man to take you seriously; and how to reject bad male behaviour.

Recommended for: Women who need no-nonsense advice on how to set stronger boundaries for men. This is also a great book for those with shorter attention spans (only 102 pages long).

3. RED FLAGS

Red Flags: How to Know He’s Playing Games with You by Brian Nox is an eye-opener for any woman who has ever been played by a man.

It can be shocking when someone you thought was special turns out to be the exact opposite. This revelation can take time, especially when a guy is just having a good time with you until someone ‘better’ comes along. It may start with him becoming distant and not answering texts, and end-up with you being dumped … or worse, ghosted.

The author shows you how to identify red flags in dating situations; understand why some men play games and won’t commit; the types of men who play games; and how to make a man commit. The book also gives advice on how to force a man to show his hand sooner so you can find out if he’s serious, and if not, how to let him go.

Recommended for: People who are new to the dating scene or starting to date again after a long time in or out of a relationship. If you’re looking for practical advice on how to protect your heart while looking for Mr. Right, this book is a great start.

8 DATING BOOKS TO HELP YOU DATE LIKE A PRO (CONT.)

4. WHY MEN LOVE BITCHES

This list won’t be complete without one of the top relationship books of the last few years, not to mention a classic self-help read, Why Men Love Bitches.

Sherry Argov dishes out sound advice amid hilarious real-life stories that show why men are attracted to bitches (these being: strong independent women who stand up for themselves). When you’re too nice, Argov says, men are bound to take advantage of you. But a woman who knows what she wants gains both love and respect from men. The author’s attraction principles are truly unique and she teaches women to be attractive without being a doormat.

This book is filled with practical tips from not answering a man’s calls to enhance mystery, to handling his ego with kid gloves. You’ll learn not to give away too much too soon; how to relate to men; and most important, how to value yourself. An absolute must for our list of dating books to help you date like a pro.

Recommended for: Women who may be too nice in relationships. If you’ve ever felt like the weak one who always says yes in the relationship, you’ll definitely relate to the saucy anecdotes and lessons that are painfully true in this book.

5. TEXTS SO GOOD HE CAN’T IGNORE

Dating is already complicated, but technology and social media have made it even more so. Many people find (and break up with) each other online and through text. The 24/7 nature of text messaging makes it an ideal platform to cultivate or destroy fledgling relationships. For both men and women, texting is a way to pre-screen someone before they commit. We reveal a lot about ourselves via text messaging intentionally or unintentionally, like our confidence, maturity, and self-worth.

In Texts So Good He Can’t Ignore, author Bruce Bryans says that many women often have no idea that how they communicate via text ends up scaring off the men. While we mean well, we may often appear too desperate, boring, needy, etc. even though we are the exact opposite. Bryans’ teaches you how to use text messaging to demonstrate your high value as a woman and potential mate, and to stand out from the crowd. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, Bryans also shows how to elicit long-term desire in a man.

Recommended for: People who are clueless about texting behavior during the early stages of a relationship. If you met your guy online and text messaging is your primary method of communication, this is the book for you.

6. HOW TO GET A MAN WITHOUT GETTING PLAYED

Bruce Bryans is back with another fun and insightful dating book about protecting your heart when you’re in the process of looking for The One.

How To Get A Man Without Getting Played focuses on self-possession or womanly poise (as the author calls it) which is characteristic of women who prioritize dignity and well-being over any man. The woman who lacks poise, on the other hand, gives too much of herself in the initial stages of a romance and unknowingly chases men. High-quality men are not only attracted to womanly poise, apparently it also drives them wild with desire. Bryans teaches how women can set standards with a man to make him want to commit, and how to remain classy despite disinterest or disrespect.

This is the perfect book for women who want to have more power and confidence, whilst still being irresistible and in-control of their path to a long-term relationship. You’ll learn about dating rules that ‘high-value’ women follow, as well as the number one way to conquer a man’s heart in the early stages of dating.

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Dating Literature for Guys: Overview

There are countless dating books for guys.

And countless courses, podcasts, blogs, and YouTube channels as well.

So, how you choose who to learn from?
This is where this list of best dating resources comes in handy.

Someone could say that I am well placed to help you prioritize your learning.
Together with plenty of personal experience in the field, I bring a decade of intense studies in psychology, evolutionary psychology, seduction, games women play -and manipulative games women play-, as well as social and power dynamics.

Contents

The overall dating literature for men is spotty, presenting some good stuff, some great stuff, and also some not so good information.

The issue is that it’s a field which originally attracted a lot of men who were:

• Bitter towards women: and spreading misogyny
• Authors with poor social skills: jumped into seduction without good social skills 
• Started teaching without reaching mastery: a few lays because one went out every single night doesn’t necessarily make him a great teacher

Worry not though, the dating industry for men has evolved massively, and today there is plenty of good advice.
This article distills the best of the dating and seduction advice for men. And tells you why they’re on this list, and what you are going to learn in each one of them.

And here is the current TOP 13 dating books for men:

13. Soulmate Sequence

By Richard La Ruina
Summary   Amazon

Richard La Ruina explicitly says that he nows writes as a happily married man who always preferred relationships to swinging. 

So “Soulmate Sequence” tends to be slightly more geared towards providers and guys seeking a relationship.
La Ruina understands dating psychology and social dynamics, and the only reason the book is not any higher is because it’s not 100% focused on dating, but also on socializing, making more friends, networking, and even how to make a good impression on your soulmate’s parents. 
Finally, it also contains tips for women, so it’s not exclusively a dating book for men. 

On the plus side, if you want to learn how to have good conversations that flow naturally, then this one might have some of the best dialogue examples on this whole list.

Quote: The key to all success in all social interactions, as I’m sure you’ve noticed, comes back to making other human beings feel good.

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12. Attract the Right Girl

by Bruce Brian
Summary   Kindle

This is the only dating book for men I have read to truly turn the tables on dating.

Bryan does not focus on getting the girl, but on choosing the right girl. And he has tons of great advice on how it feels like when you truly meet a high-quality life companion.

For example, he says that a good woman will make you feel like you matter to her, and that what you do matters to the world.
That is true, and that’s what I experienced in the only relationship I truly miss in my life.

when you meet that woman, he says, you will want to do things for her. He says:

It’s a strange feeling in which you’ll WANT to take care of her and treat her like a queen.
You’d fight for her if the situation called for it, and you’d gladly make the sacrifices necessary to ensure her happiness.

But don’t worry, this is not a white-knight book.
Bryan says that the right woman will do the exact same for you, supporting you through your life endeavor physically and emotionally, taking care of you and of your castle.

Update: The Tactical Guide to Women approaches dating with the same angle, but in a more thorough and scientific fashion.

Quote: Dating an average woman that isn’t a good match for you or who isn’t highly attracted to you or interested in adding value to your life is actually WORSE than being single.

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11. Models

by Mark Manson
Summary   Amazon

Models is in between a self-development text, a high level “mindsets” text, and an actual book on dating strategies and techniques.

Indeed, the reason it’s not featured any higher in this best dating books for men list is that it’s a bit too general and “general public friendly”.

What do I mean by that?
I mean that either because he really believes in it or in an effort to reach a wider general audience, Mark Manson takes a rather “safe” stances.
In simpler words: this book is a bit like “PC-dating advice”.

He says for example that relationships are more fulfilling than sleeping around, that being honest is better than playing games, and that embracing vulnerability is the most powerful thing you can do
And those make most book reviewers nod in approval while making for wonderful Instagram quotes.

And it’s not that they are not true, but… Not always.
Sometimes, or often, the opposite is true. 
Too much vulnerability is bad, for example.
And it’s also true that sleeping around can be great fun. And it can be better than relationships in certain periods of life and, for certain womanizing personalities, it can be better for, like… Ever.

Also, I’m ambivalent about Mark’s message of “dropping all games and being honest”.
That kind of message does not equip the readers with the knowledge and understanding of the dating dynamics. Because women do play games -just like men do, it’s simply part and parcel of being humans-.

But still, Models is a great book coming from a healthy and secure mindset, and I can give it a big thumbs up.

Quote: Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It’s there. It’s your job to find it. Not their job to show you.

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10. How to Be a 3% Man

by Corey Wayne
Summary   Audiobook

How to Be a 3% Man is the most popular book in this list, at least going by Amazon’s reviews.

I found a few issues and blemishes in there, especially when it comes to actual social dynamics and psychology of dating.

But there is a reason why it still makes its way in this best dating books for men list.
And it’s because it covers most topics and most high-level mindsets from a position of genuinity and in a way that will provide a big bang for the buck to the average guy reading it.

Quote: Masculine energy is about drive, purpose, mission, succeeding, accomplishing, overcoming obstacles, and achieving goals

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9. The Man’s Guide to Women

by John Gottman
Summary 

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Dating the Younger Man: Guide to Every Woman's Sweetest Indulgence

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