Guy online dating profile

SilverSingles Spark Network

En español  For many people, a new year means making a fresh start on the relationship front — whether they're simply looking for someone to talk to, a travel companion or love.

After two years of the coronavirus pandemic, dating habits have changed. More people are dating digitally, using mobile apps and websites, in part spurred on by the pandemic.

​Some apps, like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge, noted a surge in users at the start of the pandemic. Data tracker Apptopia reported that in July 2021 there were 1.2 million more people using the top 50 dating apps than during the same month the previous year.

But dating when you're over 50 is far different from dating when you're 20. Taking the time to create an engaging online dating profile that contains a well-crafted bio with appealing photographs may make you stand out from the crowd.

Your profile is vital, says San Francisco Bay area dating and relationship coach Maya Diamond, because it says who you are and what kind of relationship you want. “When you're creating that in a thoughtful and intentional way, it can really help you find the right partner,” she adds.

Basic do's and don'ts for dating profiles

Most online dating profiles require your real name and where you live, but nearly all other information is up to you.

One basic rule is to be yourself, online dating experts say. “Don't write what you think people want to hear; write about what matters to you,” says Sophie Watson, spokeswoman for SilverSingles, a dating site exclusively for people age 50-plus. “If you have a quirky hobby or get delighted by something silly, make a reference to it. Chances are there's someone out there who will share your passion."

Are you sick of swiping left?

FUN FACT: 1 out of 6 couples is now meeting online – I should know I am one!

CRAP FACT: Most women loathe online dating so much they often stop all together – ummmm yeh this was me at one point too!

If you’re like most women I’ve worked with who’ve been online for any length of time you’ve probably seen it all (and quite possibly more than you’ve ever wanted to!).

But don’t despair!

Online dating can be a whole lot of fun and a great way to meet an incredible man.

Over the years I’ve helped hundreds of women meet their man. I’ve also read, written, reviewed and revamped heaps of online dating profiles. So, including the years I was online dating, it’s fair to say I’ve seen my fair share of the good, bad and the ugly.

I know the excitement of online dating, whilst at first fun, soon loses its lustre if you’re attracting the wrong kind of men.

So just how do you navigate an Insta-Tinder hook-up culture, cut through the BS and attract a great guy just right for you?

Here’s some ideas to get you started writing a stand out profile.

How to write the perfect online dating profile

GET THE RIGHT BALANCE

Activate your feminine attraction by balancing depth with playfulness.

Be light and have banter in how you write your profile, but demonstrate the other sides to you through what you write in your profile.

SPEAK TO YOUR POTENTIAL MAN

Certain words, phrases and photos can have the power to attract one man and yet repel another. So it’s super important to make sure your profile isn’t trying to appeal to men in general – just your man.

Be real. Be you. Don’t water down who you are and use language that ‘speaks’ to your potential partner, not everyone.

DON’T OVERSHARE

Less is more. Give a flavour of who you are, not your whole life story.

A little mystery is alluring and intimating something that will have him intrigued and wanting to contact you to know more.

And certainly don’t share too much information about your kids. Not only is it unnecessary at this stage, but it can be unsafe. Dating with kids a whole different ball-game!

RE-EDUCATE OUR MEN

In a world where hook-ups are normalised it’s important you make it clear you are a real, whole high-quality woman looking for something real with someone great from the onset.

A caveat here: Be clear what you are looking for without making the person reading it feel immediately responsible for providing it.

Think:

‘Looking for something real with someone awesome’

Instead of:

‘I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone who’s not intimated by the fact that I have a family.’

Remember this guy hasn’t even met you, so creating demands of where the relationship needs to head before he even knows you isn’t likely to get him excited about sending you a wink, kiss or otherwise.

How to write a standout online dating profile (cont.)

Don’t get put in the ‘casual fun’ box

Avoid being overtly flirty or sexual.

Appealing to this side of him first will activate the sexual side of a man and might put you straight into ‘casual fun’ box – even if he’s looking for something serious.

Attract him with your more subtle feminine wiles. Of course, you may want to be put in the casual fun box, in which case, make it clear on your profile that you are not looking for something serious.

SAY WHAT YOU WANT (NOT WHAT YOU DON’T WANT)

Ask for what you want, not what you don’t want. Using words like ‘no players’ or ‘must have sh@t together’ screams someone who’s been burnt.

GET THE VISUALS RIGHT

A picture paints a thousand words.

Men are visual, but make sure you are showing the whole woman you are, not just the physical side.

Do show friendly smiles, lust for life, lifestyle things that show you doing something you are passionate about.

Don’t be provocative, show too much cleavage, sexy body shots, glamour make-up shots or party shots with the girls. These photos attract the wrong kind of men and don’t showcase who you really are.

AVOID BARRIER WORDS

Watch your use of overly masculine words.

Avoid using lots of words like driven, competitive, independent, complex, busy. These words can be barriers for men when overused.

AS WELL AS NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES

Steer clear of using language that implies negative attributes of someone you’ve previously dated or other men you’ve seen online.

For example:

‘If you’re challenged by strong women don’t bother writing.’

Implies that whoever is reading your profile IS challenged by strong women. A man who’s not can read between the lines and doesn’t need to be told.

Most of all have fun in the process!

Here’s to love!