Have you ever felt so strongly about something that you stay silent until you’ve found the “right” words to say? You might feel as though nothing you say would do justice to the emotions behind a story, memory, or belief. I’ve been putting off sharing this session for years for this exact reason.
I want what I say to reflect how I feel inside, and because of this I often end up procrastinating in areas of my life that mean the most. (I guess you can attribute this to my perfectionism, a trait my poor husband has yet to understand considering how messy I can be!) I’ve learned as I’ve grown, however, that sometimes the best way to approach something is to jump in with two feet.
Five years ago, in 2015, I received an inquiry about doing a senior portrait session. This wasn’t an ordinary inquiry, however. I was amazed to discover that I was being contacted by my fifth grade teacher, Pam Foster. I instantly broke down in tears. I cried and cried, called my parents, and then cried some more. You see, Mrs. Foster is a huge part of my story.
For years, her name has graced countless conversations and testimonies that I’ve shared with both friends and strangers. Once I became a mom, my conversations turned toward talking about raising my kids. I have always shared that parents should boldly speak life into their children. When you see a strength in your little one, you should proclaim it from the rooftops for them and the whole world to hear. My position on this is unfaltering, and it’s rooted in one particular year of my childhood—the one year that Mrs. Foster’s journey intersected with mine. Since then, I have thought about Mrs. Foster many times and have considered telling her about how that year in her classroom shaped who I became, but I never did. I cried upon seeing her message (just a message inquiring about some photographs) because I felt as though it was my chance to finally share the impact that she has had on my life.
The truth about life-changing things is that they are often small whispers.
It’s quite remarkable how much I remember about fifth grade. It was the year two towns split, sending half of their children to one school and half to another. Although I had a choice between the two schools, attending the nearby elementary school that my brother would have to attend made the most sense for our family as a whole. I was nervous about going back to school without most of my friends, and even more nervous when I found out that Mrs. Foster was to be my teacher. Rumors were that she was extremely strict and that her class was challenging. Despite this, fifth grade ended up being one of the best years of my life.
Mrs. Foster didn’t disappoint. The rumors were true—she was strict, and she had high expectations from the start. One day, she said, “Crystal, do you realize how smart you are?” I stood there, a little shocked and puzzled. My entire life until this point was centered around my appearance. People would always comment about how adorable or “cute” I was. This woman didn’t seem to notice what others had endlessly pointed out about me, and instead became the first adult person that truly saw me—or at least a part of me that I actually had some control over.
Although I’m certain my family had told me that I was smart before, hearing this from Mrs. Foster was different. It was like I was hearing it for the first time in my life. Like someone had finally taken off their sunglasses and saw what had been shining through the entire time. From that moment on, I lived fully in Mrs. Foster’s comment. I worked hard on my tests and papers, and I began volunteering to speak or read aloud in class. I walked taller as a ten-year-old. I was awarded valedictorian of Roanoke Elementary School that year, and I’m certain it was due to the confidence instilled by Mrs. Foster.
I have so many other stories I could share. Once, after an eye exam and hearing from the technician or nurse that I was “as blind as a bat,” Mrs. Foster consoled me and told me that she had gotten glasses in fifth grade, too. As an adult, I wonder now if that was even true, but I know that Mrs. Foster’s comment helped me to cope with something new and concerning for me. I wore those glasses proudly after that. I even asked to have my hair cut like Mrs. Foster’s, like one would for a celebrity! I once was chosen to recite an entire poem during the elementary program. Once I began speaking, my mind went completely blank. I stumbled through the poem while the music teacher mouthed the words to me and I repeated them like marriage vows. Halfway through, I felt my face flushing and I wanted to hide. I looked offstage as I was planning my escape, only to find Mrs. Foster standing there smiling at me. I felt so supported. If messing up didn’t change how she viewed me, then I would be more than okay in the end.
I learned from Mrs. Foster that even small whispers from an adult can have a huge impact on a child. I truly believe that she is one of the reasons that I view my coaching role as a calling. My style of leadership as a basketball coach is largely modeled after her. I’m tough. Maybe I push too hard sometimes, but I like to believe that my girls will grow up one day and look back on even the smallest whispers. They’ll see that it’s all because I believed in them so much, the way that Mrs. Foster believed in me all those years ago.
Throwback Thursday: Holli’s Senior Portrait Session
Onto the session share! I was not surprised at all upon meeting Holli. She really is her mother’s daughter! She is incredibly thoughtful, smart, and confident in who she is. I loved that Holli brought some records to show her love for music during our shoot. I was even more impressed when she pulled out her Eminem record—we both agree that he’s a lyrical genius! The whole session was amazing. It truly felt like a full-circle moment, and was as much a gift to me as I hope it was for Holli and her family. Since her session five years ago, it has been a blessing to watch Holli thrive in college, graduate, and even get married!
If you’re wondering, I did get to thank Mrs. Foster after all those years—but in much fewer words for fear of crying like an idiot. What better way to thank someone so important to my growth as a person than to use the gifts she helped foster in me? I was able to express my gratitude in such a personal way—by creating beautiful portraits of her only child. Life can be pretty cool sometimes.
Throwback Thursday: Holli’s Class of 2015 Senior Portrait Session
